To begin, I’d like to say sorry for posting on Monday instead of Sunday. I don’t really have any wonderful excuses for why I’m late, I simply filled my time with other things that didn’t involve blogging, and thus threw myself off track and find myself writing on a Monday instead. I know it isn’t the end of the world if I skip a day here or there, but I will put my best efforts into ensuring it doesn’t happen again, not only for readers but for my own satisfaction.
Now back to business.
I was stood up last week.
I won’t bore you with details but the general situation was a guy that I had been on a couple of dates with arranged to meet up one night, then never showed; standard stand up really. Just quickly, I’m not looking for sympathy nor am I still upset about it, it really only took me the night to get over as we didn’t know each other well anyway, this is more about the things it brought up. So, besides the obvious initial reactions (being offended, annoyed, angry, buying gelato etc) I found myself using that situation to really analyse myself and learn something. I’m a big believer in taking lessons from every experience, good or bad, as I think that by learning what you need you are then able to let that experience go and be fully present in the next one. By reflecting on my reactions and why I felt and did certain things I’ve learnt some valuable lessons about myself that I think can also be reflective of the society we live in.
This is what I learnt;
I don’t need to be embarrassed.
It’s funny, I didn’t tell anyone about what happened, I hadn’t even mentioned I was seeing anyone (not that it was serious) to any of my family or close friends, yet now I’m broadcasting this online where a lot of them will see it. Now this isn’t reflective of my relationships with them, it’s more reflective of how I see myself because I was embarrassed to tell anyone I knew. For some reason my initial thought process was ‘there must be something wrong with me’, and if there was, I wasn’t about to tell everyone I knew in case they also found out that something was wrong with me and stopped being my friend. It sounds dramatic sure but that was the initial thought, so I was embarrassed. But after thinking this through rationally I realised that it has nothing to do with me as a person. This realisation was like being shaken awake from a bad dream. As soon as it dawned on me I felt okay again, I was able to separate the situation from me as a person and acknowledge that this doesn’t mean I’m a failure, it’s a simple situation that happens to most of us at some point in our lives and that’s okay.
Talking is good for the soul.
It’s interesting how overwhelming an issue can feel when you’re dealing with it by yourself. Yet as soon as you open it up to someone else and to the universe the worries dissipate and you’re able to see the world clearer. I found that I completely shut down to others when I could’ve opened up, limiting my ability to deal with my problems while also limiting the development of my relationships. I pretended that nothing happened, and because of that, I wasn’t able to accept it and move on. I think it’s so important to share not only your dreams and achievements with those you love and trust, but it is also important to share your failures and issues. We are all human and we all have good and bad things to deal with, by sharing the good and the bad we allow those in our life to share our experience and help us through it. If we keep all the bad things to ourselves, we aren’t giving others the chance to help us or the chance to share their similar experiences which strengthens relationships. So I am sorry for not giving those close to me (you know who you are) a chance to share in that experience, but I will definitely give them that opportunity from now on.
I know what I want.
I’m a very proactive person. I don’t fuck around or talk about anything without getting it done. So it’s about time that I realised what I want in everything from my coffee order to my partner to my career. It’s a very freeing feeling to realise exactly what you’re looking for, because it gives you a direction to head in and something to look forward to. It’s only been in the past few weeks that I’ve really focused in on what I want to achieve in my life and who I want to devote time to and I am so excited by that.
I now know what I want for my future.
And I can’t wait.